The Isle of Mersea 1605

The Earl translates the King James Bible in secret

Another Deleted Scene from Anonymous

Int. scene - description


Scene:
A gloomy room with small windows overlooking a grey estuary
CRANE SHOT: Camera in over the shoulder of seated actor, irritable, scratching head. 
ZOOM on desk, scrolls everywhere, 
ZOOM on one paper with writing. An unfinished sonnet about dinner. The author is looking for a rhyme for ‘potato’

OXFORD
Damn you Raleigh, where did you ever get the name ‘potato’? How can a poet give something a name which won’t rhyme with anything? (shouts) Starbuck!  Starbuck!

STARBUCK (off) :(truculently): 
I can hear you, What do you want?

OXFORD: 
 Something to drink. Tea if you have it

STARBUCK: 
Yes your Lordship. Immediately your Lordship

OXFORD: 
 Immediately meant ‘now’ when I was at university...

STARBUCK (off): 
I’m doing it. Look, I’m in the kitchen. (quietly) all you did at university was smash windows, you idle git.

OXFORD: 
God knows why I bother. This poem’s  ghastly. This book is ghastly, this translation is ghastly, the weather’s ghastly, Starbuck’s tea is ghastly.

STARBUCK:
(off): I can hear you.
Enter Starbuck

STARBUCK:
(trace of sarcasm): Here! Tea for the quality of Mersea. 

OXFORD: 
It isn’t strained, you useless git. Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean you can piss about like I was some peasant glover's son from the boonies. Where’s my sword?

STARBUCK: 
Now you know that killing servants will get you into trouble. Why don’t you just get on? What’s it today? More of the Bible translation? Or that one about the mad black guy? You’re not letting all this being dead get you down, are you? 

OXFORD: 
Oh why? Why did I ever listen to Cecil? How can genius like what I have got be content to sit here alone with a pen all day with no money, no mates and no recognition?

STARBUCK: 
How about translating some Leviticus? Where’s that Bible you nicked from The Globe?

OXFORD: 
 How dare you! You’ve no evidence. It’s definitely not Shakespeare’s anyway. I want to work on a new one of the plays what I write. I’ve got some exciting, tarty lines for Cleopatra and if we could get Glenda Jackson.

STARBUCK: 
Look out there! In the estuary! That ship’s in trouble. But that the Sea dashes the fire out -The brave vessel will be dash'd all to peeces: 

OXFORD: 
 I have had an idea.  A nautical play that will unleash the incredible imagination what I have and bring my special knowledge of the sea to the stage. A ferry terminal, an island, a one-legged man, 'Harrrrr, Jim lad'… treasure… Quick, man, quick, write this down…

SHAKESPEARE: (for it is he): 
Now you know what I’m like with a pen. You write, I’ll dictate . . .

Share this post