Despite my advice (and latterly my RULES), my partner has inadvertently invited an Oxfordian to dinner on Thursday. The last time this happened, there were broken glasses before the main course and the evening ended in tragedy when my irreplaceable VHS copy of Blandings ended up in a sauceboat full of separating Bearnaise.
What do you advise?
Worried of Penge.
Dear Worried of Penge,
We are constantly consulted about the shadow cast by the authorship discussion over social events. And with good reason! Our advice is always the same.
If you can't source a reliable barbiturate in time or persuade your partner to drown the Oxfordian with an excess of ironical agreement, the best thing is to serve some nice, spicy food and quadruple the amout of chilli in the Oxfordian's dish. A factor of four seems to be effective. You don't mention whether ot not you have private health care but more than this can result in trips to the Emergency Room.
If you go down the Irony route, remember to print out the Single Page Guide from our site and sneak it into the inside pocket of the Oxfordian's coat ( or anywhere they will find it on their way home).
Love and Good Luck
With apologies to James Thurber whose brilliant original caption reads "It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding but I think you'll be amused by its presumption"